Wrestling with body positivity has been an important struggle for me throughout my life. Growing up as an Asian-American male has often made me a target for mockery; in particular, people have often insulted me for my size.

In Hong Kong, we barely talk about mental health - in Asian culture this is the norm. I had never even heard about mental health until I started struggling with my mental health. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2018.

My Asian identity has shaped every corner of my mental health. As I get older, my awareness of my prejudices against my own flesh has turned what I thought was tough skin to a tenderness that has unraveled me.

As a first generation graduate, I hoped that this would also let my mom feel like my accomplishment was also hers.

I've learned to be more patient and to never really make set plans as life can throw things a lot at you. It's better not to have expectations but to be adaptable to the ebbs and flows of life. This has dramatically helped with my anxiety and needs for control to protect my feelings.

Being raised to then avoid conflict in the name of harmony and humility, I took the safe route and went into technology. And enjoyed my role, but started burning out when I was no longer feeling connected to the meaning and impact behind my work.

I experienced a lot of bullying for my body, as I am more of a slim thiccc Asian gal, which wasn’t “in” back in the day. It deeply affected me and led to eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and abusive relationships for many years.

I can definitely say that we didn’t handle the mental health talk perfectly right off the bat. We’ve all made mistakes. We’ve experienced crisis after crisis. We’ve all said things we regret. But, we are talking. We are looking out for each other. We support each other more and more each day.

For many years, I’ve felt inferior and invisible among White people. I went to a mostly White high school, and in college, I joined a mostly White sorority which I now have left to focus on my mental health. In my life, I have never truly felt like I belonged.